He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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