did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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