My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
BRING THE BAGELS
i now understand why vodka
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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