How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize