I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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