my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
