So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
