So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
