he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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