This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
