Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
