so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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