so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
