Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
