piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
