Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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