there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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