He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There was a lot of him and a little penis
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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