I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
operation harelip BJ is a go
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
