this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
