we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
