we have officially lost it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I lost the right to judge tonight
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
