we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
