is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
