If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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