Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need a beard to bite.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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