I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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