**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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