Got a toothbrush?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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