my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
