Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
