RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
