Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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