you traded sex for a burrito?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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