awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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