Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
