they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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