Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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