Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
