Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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