my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
