I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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