My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
