5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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