I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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