Its about making memories worth repressing
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
