do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
