gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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