White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
