awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
