The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
