If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
