Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it glows. i had to have it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize