He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
