It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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