Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
