Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
