Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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