It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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