Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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