he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
